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Paying Off Credit Card # Dos/Trying to Overcome Depression One Day at a Time


I'm still pretty emotional about returning to work. There are bits in the day when I am reminded why I love my job. It usually involves a kid being funny, or when the students are engaged in a lesson.

Then there are times when my hearts hurts. Like the time I saw a picture update from my daughter's school with her teacher holding her during story time. It made me very sad and I couldn't help but think, that should be ME holding her during the day ),: That one stung and has still left me feeling pretty depressed.

At the end of the month we will pay off credit card number two, leaving us with one more card and the car. After that we will be debt free of all except for the house. That gives me a little push to keep going, to hang in there. I'm hoping that mentally I can make it until December, much less May.

My house life is back to suffering in that my house is a mess. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if I hadn't decluttered over the year.

I hardy make dinner anymore. When I come home from work, I'm so exhausted that my kids get what's left of me while work gets the best. It breaks my heart. I've been drinking coffee to be more energized for them which helps.

I have a class of students I've had for three years. They're seniors now and I missed out on their junior year. I'm coteaching that class now with other kids who have been with their teacher just as long, but she was there for their junior year. I don't regret spending a year with my baby, and maybe it's the depression talking, but I feel like the other teacher is closer with her kids because of that extra year. It makes me wonder if I should even stick around until May.

So while the debt is going to be gone in a few months, I keep praying I'll make it until then, that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I do love teaching, so I'm hoping to do it part time while selling Norwex.

I'm trying to get through the daily battle until then.

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