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Decluttering More Makeup-Letting go of who I am not

So I think I am finally happy with the amount of makeup I own. I did an initial declutter a few months ago, but didn't write about it until recently.
Though I threw so much out, I still felt unsatisfied because I knew that I did not utilize all of the makeup I kept.
I went through another decluttering session, and this time I was able to let go of the products I couldn't see myself tossing out last time. I think this is because there was a part of me that wanted to hold on to the person I could be, but not fully accepting that is not who I am.

So last year (dear God I hope it was last year and not two years ago haha), I received these free lip pencils from Sephora. If you register as a Beauty Insider, you get free gifts for your birthday. This lip pencil duo came in red and a nude color. I'm sure they have more que fancy names, but I'm just going to call it as I see it. 

I am not very full of myself, but I have to admit that I look better in nude lip colors, not red. I've tried to pull the red off, really I have. I think I've tried three times to purchase a red lipstick, but I just can't do it. I look all right in lip gloss or chapstick that may have a slight red tint, but just can't do the lipstick for some reason. There was quite an internal struggle for me about this issue. It's perfectly good lipstick I would think. Or but this person looks so good with red lipstick on, you can too! You like the pinup girl look, to achieve that, you gotta wear this red lipstick! Yet every time I get an inkling to put it on (which is so rare), I put it on, look in the mirror and don't feel that I look attractive. My husband would say otherwise, but it's not how he perceives me that should determine if I keep this lipstick, it's how I perceive myself. If I am not feeling comfortable in what am I wearing, then why am I keeping it? It's absolutely great to step out of the box and try new things, but this is something I have tried, over and over. And because of that, I don't let certain things go because all I can think is, one day I will wear/use this. 

I tried this lipstick one final time, just in case I would change my mind. I just needed to give it another chance (even though I've given it several chances). I put it on and didn't like what I saw. I tried to wear it around the house, but every time I got a glimpse of myself, I thought the lipstick looked terrible. It just looked so out of place with my face. This was the moment of realization-"Lauren, you don't like red lipstick! Accept it!"


That's not the only thing I struggled to let go of. Remember when I said I felt so beautiful at my friends' vow renewal after getting my makeup done that I started to invest in makeup? 
Well, I bought this loose glitter powder, I'm thinking four years ago??? You would think that purchasing this four years ago and having a full to the top amount of this stuff would tell me that I do not like it, but noooo. I just HAD to give it another try, because what if this time I love it? I tried wearing it two days this week. Again, trying to be someone I'm not (this stuff looks so good on other people, why would I toss it?) Putting the glitter on my eyelids reminded me of my early 20s when I was just starting to really wear makeup and I had no clue what I was doing. I used to use this shimmery Victoria Secret eyeshadow and it would be super glittery on my eyes. That's what wearing this reminded me of. My eyelids looked so shinny and sparkly, but I didn't not feel super awesome. On one of the days I wore it, I was in the heat for a few hours and I'm confident that the glitter melted into my ojos. My eyes were killing me! Finally I accepted that this glitter stuff is not for me.

Lastly I got rid of a few samples I had left over. I kept them because, this time I would really give them a try! Yeah right. 

There were samples I had for such a long time. I kept telling myself, this week I'll go through and try what I have. Did that happen? No. I'm just not interested and I needed to realize it. I had to tell myself that just because I have it and received it for free, does not mean I need to keep it. 

Finally I removed my makeup from my Kandee Johnson makeup bag and placed it in this container I got from the Container Store a few years ago. (Not pictured is my Selena MAC lipstick that resides in my purse that I absolutely LOVE.) These are the items I use the most, and I am hoping to use them up since I'll be using them daily. I may eventually get rid of a few more eyeshadows. 

It's so interesting that I went from not knowing how to put on makeup in my teen years, to trying to put on makeup in my early twenties, to PRETENDING I was a makeup guru, to getting rid of it all. It's almost like I've come full circle with the amount of makeup I used to own, except this time I own makeup that works for me and that I love using. 




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