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Decluttering Journey-Letting Go of the Past

I have a very hard time letting go of things. I have some anxiety issues and I didn't really connect my hoarding of items with my disorders until I began my decluttering journey. 
I have only panicked about two items that I have donated in the past year. Other than that, decluttering has been so therapeutic and it has been great to get rid of items that remind me of a past I'm ready to let go of.

Last summer after learning about the KonMari Method, I began to declutter my home and life. I had just finished graduate school and was pregnant with my second child. I had been going to school for almost a total of ten years and had never really taken the time to declutter my life. I had my oldest at 17 and began college immediately. It wasn't until last summer when I finally finished school and listened to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying: A simple, effective way to banish clutter forever, that I began to change my life.

Within a year, I have donated at least 20 bags to Savers and have taken other bags to a local second hand mom store to purchase items with the credit I receive. I have come such a long way, but still have sentimental hurdles to overcome. 



Thanking the item for its purpose, as suggested by the book, has helped to ease my anxiety when letting some things go. 
We cannot change the past, but it is so great to let go of an item that has a negative memory attached to it. I have gotten rid of clothes that I had avoided wearing because it reminded me of a bad memory, or objects that I have no use for that are from people I no longer associate with.

Sometimes I find something that baffles me. I found this pair of shorts in my drawer. I have had these shorts since the seventh grade. Though I have worn them pretty regularly throughout the years, I have not worn them since my last pregnancy. They have been torn apart and I have had to resew them. I tried wearing them a few nights ago, and they just fall off because the elastic is no longer tight at the top. (Also, I'm 100% sure that I wore them so much they just stretched with me haha. I am not the same size as I was back then I pinky swear!)

I wasn't very popular in middle school. I didn't wear makeup or even knew how to put it on. I wore my hair in a ponytail every day. A group of girls at my school wanted to make me over. They invited me over to one of their houses, put makeup on me, did my hair, and even gave me clothes to wear. These shorts were one of the items given. It's not too terrible of a memory. In fact it kind of makes me laugh now 'cause I really was very clueless with all the girlie stuff. But, am I holding on to these shorts as a memory of trying to be "cool" and accepted by my peers? It seems so silly, but I am 31, and I have still held on to these shorts that I have only ever used for bed time. Perhaps I'm ready to let go now because I'm older and don't really need to feel the need to impress others anymore. Or maybe I just realized, who wears clothes they've had for 19 years?! I see my own daughter at the age I once was and can't imagine her wearing one item for 19 years that someone gave her to wear because it would make her "prettier" or "cooler." 

Decluttering has definitely forced me to do some self reflection in what I want to keep and why I have kept it. 
It has been one way that I am letting go of what used to be, making room for the present. 


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